Getting that authentic cattle herding experience vibe

Life in the Corona virus pandemic has its unique opportunities.

As we ventured forth into the unknown today, we braved the wilds of Walmart and Sam’s club. Our first adventures into the exciting world of cattle herding for humans. The winding lines ever remaining distant, slowly trudging forward to uncertain ends. This episode takes place at Sam’s Club.

Ambling forward like undead bodies, we stand together largely silent. Occasional interactions to amuse. Cart boys break the line with their collections to unload.

We come closer to the door and learn the limit, 100 to the building is all that’s allowed inside. Finally in!

The store was like a graveyard, everyone somber and distant. The shelves far from barren, a monument to capitalisms persistence. We made our way to the libations we had come for; ciders, beers, soda and lunches. Paper towel on the list, would there be any? Luckily yes and plenty to spare, one package per cart the sign read. We wandered a little further and finally declared our quest a success with a two hundred dollar tab. We paid the fee and made for the door, where the men stood guard and prepared to check our receipt and give passage to the outside air.

Like good cattle, we stayed the course to the logical end, the only death for us, in the wallets.

So exciting we know, but it’s dangerous out there, who knows what could happen with every step outside the door.

Stay safe, and be sure you keep up your self care.